At the core of all NLP work is the recognition that people and their behaviors are separate and distinct from each other. This presupposition sets people apart from their behaviors so that we can accept the person, regardless of what they do or exhibit through their actions and words.
Virginia Satir was a “therapy wizard” who embodied this presupposition in her work as a family therapist. Virginia Satir did not judge the actions and behaviors of her client. She accepted each person intrinsically, along with their model of the world. She adapted her communication style to match that of her clients. Her amazing success inspired the founders of NLP to model her strategies, techniques, and language patterns to create what is called the Meta Model.
Behaviors are learned responses that people develop to meet the needs of specific situations and contexts. Behaviors do not define who we are. Rather, they reflect the resources and choices that we are aware of in each moment. When we approach life with this kind of acceptance, it becomes easier for us to have greater compassion for ourselves and for the people around us.